I had a real revelation recently after a big night of doing laundry. I was looking at my massive underwear drawer when it occurred to me I wouldn’t want to be caught dead in most of it. I am proud to say I make underwear that lasts, and often thats an excessively long time. I still had underwear back from when I first started making underwear. Horses, fighter jets, bamboo with lace trim, silk screens by local artists, all sorts of awesome stuff I made over the years, some of which was rounding 15 years old and, although it was all still wearable I realize I make underwear for everyone else daily! I, of all people, deserve a drawer of brand new underwear! And that night I threw most of my underwear out. (I can’t help but imagine the look on the face of someone finding that bag in the garbage but let’s not go there.)
Of course it is important to invest and to be wise with your money but what are you hoarding you should probably replace? Where are you treating everyone else and sparing yourself? Do you love to cook for everyone else? I recently made 6 pies. I don’t eat pie. I gave them all away. Perhaps I should consider making myself a lovely meal next time. Do you give wicked manicures but somehow never have time for yourself? Do you love to paint but give all your best work away? It is so often we take ourselves for granted. It doesn’t have to cost a lot but it is important to take the time to communicate to ourselves that we matter too. It’s time we start thinking, ‘me first’.
Shortly after the underwear purge I was chatting with a few clients in one of the stores. One was looking at a sweater (a sweater on sale!! We never have sales!). She loved it. It fit her great and, according to the dialog between the two friends, she really needed a sweater. But she felt so guilty for spending money. It’s one thing to be thrifty but perhaps it’s not that we’re spending too much, maybe we’re not demanding enough! We don’t all have jobs with bosses we can walk up to and demand raises from tomorrow but I think it still comes back to the question: what are we doing for others we aren’t doing for us? And when will the guilt end?
If you need it, you need it! If you don’t, well maybe who cares! No guilt whatever you decide. Try everything on! Find the perfect one! The one that feels like it was made for you! And buy it in all it’s glory! Whatever it is don’t be compromising! It’s not about treating your self, rather it’s about investing in your self worth and it works in so many little ways. Start with 5 minutes to meditate in a quiet place in the morning. Take an evening to your self to watch the sun set. Or go buy the ridiculously expensive purse (I might add buy the one that lasts but that’s self loving yourself into the future so you don’t have to buy another expensive purse for years to come!). Or do like me and dump out that underwear drawer and ask yourself: in case of a wardrobe malfunction how would you feel in the stack you’re looking at? Whatever it means to you do it and quit guilting yourself about it. Might as well start with self love.